


They Say God Loves You

by Dizzy_Star_77



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Comedy, F/M, Gang Violence, Gangs, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21800071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizzy_Star_77/pseuds/Dizzy_Star_77
Summary: Y/n is new at her school, but she has little reason to worry. She was the top dog at her old school, and it looks like the ladder at Belmont High will be an easy climb. She meets the Killjoys, a group of punks who already sit atop the throne. Y/n must either befriend them or risk being thrown all the way to the bottom again.
Relationships: Gerard Way/You
Comments: 11
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

At a glance, there was nothing for me in New Jersey. 

Except the rain.

The noise of rain drowned out the sounds of my dad's dresser drawers slamming and creaking and scratching and squeaking. 

It was already evening when I was unpacking the first day. I kept my blinds up so I could see out to the street while I unpacked. Already on a shelf I had set out my books, and was now in the process of arranging my collection of assorted figurines. They weren't a series or anything, just little action figures or tiny porcelain statuettes I had acquired over my whole 16 years of living. 

When I stood back up from opening a box, there was someone across the street. A boy in a grey hoodie, standing and watching me. I waved to him and waited in curiousity for his reaction. He waved to me and smiled beforei running off. Well, that was weird as hell. Wonder what his deal was.

I started at my new school that Monday, and I was not going without making an impression. I put on the outfit that gave me the most confidence: black skirt, white tank top, open black button up, and my favorite denim jacket. Why did I need to make such an impression, you ask? I wasn't about to be the new kid who got picked on and fell into the background. 

At my previous school, I was what you might call a delinquent. A trouble-maker, a bad girl, a hoodlum; whatever you want to call it, I was the school's head punk. My gang and I were the one group that weren't messed with or openly ridiculed by students. There was no way I was giving that kind of respect up. If I couldn't find a new gang to join, at least I would get people to stay out of my way. 

In I strutted on that first day of school as the new kid. Being mid-November, the autumn wind gave my hair a tossing, giving me an edgy, disheveled look. Not exactly what I was going for, but it still worked.

There were eyes all over me as I walked down the hall. I kept mine straight ahead of me, with a half scowl on my face. I made extra effort to wink at a group of boys in baseball uniforms, before turning and slinking up the stairs. One of them whistled loudly at me and yelled something I don't remember. You know, the usual self-absorbed catcall stuff. 

Because I started late in the year, I didn't have to share a locker; I just got one of the leftover ones. I eavesdropped on the people around me to get a grasp on the social environment. A loud series of shouting and whooping caught my attention. The sound was coming from a group of rough-looking boys walking down the hall. 

Kids instinctively planted themselves to the wall as the group passed by, making their attempts at camouflage. That's my competition? Good to know. I made eye contact with one of the boys; a boy with stringy brown hair and glasses. I smirked and winked at him, to which he looked away immediately, eyes wide with a little smile tugging at his lips. After they passed, he looked over his shoulder at me.

First and second hour weren't too rough, but third hour was quite an episode. I introduced myself to the teacher as a new student, and was there a desk for me to use? He directed me to an empty desk group in the back corner. "The other students will be here soon." He assured me.

So I sat tight for a minute or two until the classroom filled with laughter of other students. To my interest, multiple boys from the gang in the hall walked in the door. They seemed to take notice of me, and walked to me, maintaining a peculiar level of eye contact. "Hey." I nodded to them, crossing my legs. 

"Hey yourself." Their apparent leader replied. He sat down next to me and leaned back, trying to get a better look over of this new student. "You got a name Beautiful?" He asked, smiling while he looked me up and down. 

"Y/n," I answered, flipping my hair over my shoulder. "And you are?"

"Gerard." He rested his foot on his knee and nodded at his friends who were also sitting down with us. "But you," he pointed at me. "You can call me whatever you want darling." He flashed me a grin and rolled his head to his friends. "That's Frank," A boy with short black hair tilted his head at me in acknowledgment. "And that's Ray." Ray had a mop of unruly dark curls on his head, so he brushed them out of his eyes momentarily to give me a wave and a half-smile.

"Nice to meet you all." I leaned my head on my hand and sighed, looking at Gerard. "I believe I saw you and your little clique prancing down the halls this morning. What were you celebrating?"

Gerard got a little angry looking, but the teacher started class before he could speak. After the short lesson, he let us work on the homework. I forgot what I had been speaking with Gerard about until I heard him mumbling while looking through the math textbook. "Werenotaclique." 

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Gerard glowered at me and harshly ripped a piece of lined paper from a notebook. 

"I said," He repeated. "We're not a clique."

"Oh no?" I protested. "What are you then?" 

"We're a gang." Frank spoke up, phrasing his words as if it were obvious. 

"Oh yeah?" I retorted. "Some gang you are; five whole members, wow!" I feigned being impressed, widening my eyes insultingly.

"Hey, you watch your mouth!" Frank's face contorted in anger. "You don't know what you're talking about, you little- aaagghh!"

"That's not how we talk to ladies Frank." Gerard was quite literally twisting Frank's arm in this. "Is it?" He glared daggers into him. I saw Ray shake his head to emphasize Gerard's point.

"She's no lady, she's just a du-okay okay stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Gerard was, in addition to roughly twisting Frank's arm, was squeezing tightly, fingers clamped on either side of the bone. A move I knew very well. It can be quite persuasive..

"Don't apologize to me, Frank." Gerard said, his tone condescending. "Apologize to Y/n."

"Fine!" Frank's face twisted in agony. "I'm so-OW-rry Y/n!"

"Very good." Gerard dropped Frank's arm and turned to me. "For your information, we have more than five members. If you must know, we were celebrating my pay raise, because now we can afford booze for a party this weekend."

"Oh," I nodded. "Its nice that you're so supportive of each other, I guess."

"Mm-hmm," Gerard agreed. We were all silent for a while, some of us doing homework, and the other one flicking folded pieces of paper at me. I'll give you three guesses who. 

Eventually, the constant and persistent impact of having paper flung at me became too much, and I had to break the silence. "Hey, you guys want to see something cool?" I asked, leaning forward so only we could hear. 

"What? Yes." Gerard answered me almost immediately, putting down his pencil and leaning in. 

"Frank?" I looked at him with raised eyebrows. 

"Fine."

"Ray?" He just shrugged at me.

"Okay, hang on." I moved my jacket back a little and started pulling at the hem of my tank top. Their faces twisted with confusion, unsure of what I was doing. I pulled my shirt from where it was tucked and hiked it up so that my stomach was exposed. A long scar stretched right below my ribs on the right side of my abdomen. 

"Fucking gnarly," Frank spoke in awe. "Can I touch it?" He reached out a little, looking for permission. Gerard gave him a look and Frank retracted his hand and looked away. 

"How did you get it?" Gerard crossed his arms and pursed his lips a little. "Surgery or something?"

I dropped my shirt back down. "Knife fight." I grinned.

"A knife fight?" His eyes widened in disbelief.

"How the hell did you get into a knife fight?" Frank whisper-yelled. 

"Someone thought they could beat me," I shrugged and went back to my work.

"And they were wrong?" Gerard doubted. 

"Yep," I confirmed. "The bastard roughed me up a bit, but it was nothing compared to what I did to him. Practically had him sliced open right up the middle. God awful to look at." I shuddered and started working again. 

From the corners of my eyes, I could see Frank and Gerard mouthing words and making little gestures to each other. Wondering why he wasn't joining in, I looked up at Ray. He had his head on his hand while doing math. He met my eyes, glanced over at his friends, back at me smiling, then rolled his eyes. Abruptly, the gesturing stopped and they both turned to me.

"I, on behalf of Frank, and Ray I'm sure, would like to invite you to sit with us at lunch today." Gerard said, stretching his arm over to rest on my chair. "Whaddya say sugar?"

"Sounds good." I smiled.


	2. I've got friends now

Gerard's 'gang' occupied a couple tables in the corner of the lunch room, though you'd think it was much more by how loud they all were. None of them seemed to care how loud they were, not that it mattered, because the rest of the lunchroom was equally as noisy. 

Gerard offered me a seat next to him, and though I would have rather sat next to someone else, I had to stay in his good graces. I gave him the most authentic looking smile I could muster and slid right in next to him on the bench. Across from me was the boy with glasses from the hallway. He glanced up to see who the visitor Gerard had brought over was, but when he saw it was me his eyes widened a little and he stared down at his lunch. Cute.

"This is Mikey." Gerard nodded to the younger boy. "He's my little brother, a sophomore." Gerard flicked his forehead and gave him a look. "Say hi, Mikey."

"Hi." Mikey said quietly, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

"Hello!" I decided to be extra cheery to Mikey; I could gauge Gerard's reaction. I smiled at Mikey and gave a flirty wave. Gerard just looked at me then Mikey silently, then tugged my arm to engage me in conversation with him. 

"So where are you from Y/n?" Gerard asked, staring into my eyes. He's trying to keep my attention. 

"Oh I'm from.... well, its not important." I shook my head and reached into my bag for the food I had brought. 

"What do you mean its not important?" Gerard inquired, resting his head on his hand. 

"I just...miss it." I found my apple and set to peelng off the sticker. "I only moved here like last week, that's all."

"Oh shit, sorry." Gerard grimaced. "Didn't mean to add salt to the wound or anything."

"No no, don't worry about it." This sticker was being stubborn.

"You know, you can eat those!" Frank exclaimed from across the table.

"What?" I laughed, confused, yet amused. 

"You can eat those!" Frank repeated, pointing at the apple. "The stickers on fruit. They're edible." 

"Oh." I said, finally removing the sticker. I stuck it on Frank's sleeve and laughed. "Show me." 

"Okay!" He shrugged, grinning like a little boy. He stuck it in his mouth and chewed for a second, then swallowed.

"What'd it taste like?" Mikey asked, looking up momentarily.

"I dunno. Paper I guess."

"Cool."

Gerard was laughing, head hidden by his large hands. "Nice one Frank." He said, voice muffled. 

I talked with Gerard the rest of lunch, making sure to include Mikey and making him get all flustered. I complimented his glasses, hair, and whatever thing he was drawing at the time. His face got all red and his thin lips would tighten into a closed smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. This kid was adorable; a little ball of lanky and awkward that I just wanted to hug. What was even cuter was Gerard trying to re-direct my attention back to him.

"Y/n, do you wanna meet after school?" Gerard asked as his final desperation to converse with me. 

"Um...sure." I said. "I don't think I'm busy, where do you want to meet?"

"Just in the parking lot." He answered, nodding his head. "Out by the big flag pole." 

"Sounds like a plan." I gave him a fist bump and the bell rang, sending herds of students to their classes. 

Mikey was in my P.E. class, which was good for me to get information on his brother and friends. I didn't have much of an impression of Gerard, except that he likes attention, and getting what he wants; hardly novel for a popular asshole boy. I knew there had to be more; it was strange for someone like him to only want my attention and not everyone else's as well.

"Hey Mikey Way." I waltz up next to Mikey while we were walking around the track. 

Mikey was startled and made a sharp inhale. "Oh, hey Y/n. What's up?"

"Aww, you're so cute when you blush like that. Don't you have a lady of your own yet?" I teased, pushing his shoulder. 

"Oh, uh...no." His face got even redder, and his voice higher in pitch. 

"What?" I said, shocked. I was exaggerating, but honestly, with how adorable he was, I was surprised he didn't have to beat those girls off with a stick. "How does a thing like that happen?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "Gerard always says I'm too much of a spazzy weirdo."

"That's bullshit." I stated. Really, it was! "You've got to have more confidence in yourself, Mikey Way. You're a catch."

"Thanks Y/n." He smiled sweetly at me and looked at his moving feet. 

"When was the last time Gerard even had a girlfriend?" I asked, curious to how hypocritical Mikey's big brother was. 

"Uh, like a few months ago." Damn it, he's actually likeable after all. "He dates girls off and on, but he hasn't been serious since like mid-summer. His girl moved and they couldn't do long-distance, so they split. It was really hard on him, actually. Nobody expected him to have actual feelings other than "what am I gonna put my dick in now?"; it was weird man, weird."

"Hmm. So the bastard is capable of genuine relationships?" 

"Apparently." He shrugged.

"Alright, thanks Mikey." 

"No problem."

Waiting for Gerard and his friends was boring, to say the least. I had been waiting by the flag pole for over ten minutes, and I was about three inches from leaving altogether. Unfortunately, I didn't have a single person's phone number, so there was no way I could ask any of them where the hell they were. 

"HEY! STOP IT!" Someone yelled from around the school. "LET ME GO!" 

Oh fuck. Time to go play hero. I started off toward the yelling, rolling my eyes. The screams got more desperate, so I quickened my pace, moving to a jog and pulling out my knife. I couldn't believe who I saw while trying to round the corner. Two of Gerard's posse, Ray and Mikey. They were standing attentively, Mikey a little stressed and Ray stone faced, sunglasses covering his eyes. I could see limbs moving and jerking violently from behind them, and my judgment told me it was Gerard, Frank and some poor kid. "Of fucking course its them." I grumbled, pissed that this is what was takin so long. "Fucking dumbasses." 

I tucked my blade into my sleeve and ran straight up to Mikey and Ray, but they blocked my path. "Mikey!" I exclaimed angrily. "Let me through right now!"

"I can't Y/n," he replied. "I'm not supposed to let anyone interfere."

I looked up at Ray, but I didn't expect much from the silent giant. He just looked down at me and shrugged, sighing. I stamped my foot and cried out angrily, then remembered I came armed. Mikey saw me pull out my knife from where it was concealed in my sleeve and his eyes widened. "Listen Mikey Way, I have way more experience with this than you've ever witnessed, and I will not hesitate to cut you from nose to navel if you do not move by the count of three." 

Mikey turned his head back to the commotion, grimacing nervously. "Y/n, Gerard is gonna kick my ass if I let you through!"

"One..." I gripped the blade tightly and raised my eyebrow at the kid. He'll crack, I know he will.

"Dammit, you know I can't-"

"Two!" I got more stern, raising the knife up to his nose. Ray was watching the whole ordeal with such indifference, I was amazed. What does he have going for him here? Mikey bit his lip, staring at the ground, eyes flicking back and forth. If I have to do this, my in with Gerard is gonna be bust. He'd never forgive me, and probably make my life shit. Not to mention I really don't want to hurt this kid. He doesn't deserve this. Poor baby. "Mikey..." I said softly, looking into his eyes. "I will get to three. Don't let me get there." Silence. His eyes were watering. God, I felt so guilty, but more I was angry. I wanted so badly to be bluffing, but I didn't want Mikey to know it. "Alright! Thre-"

"Fine! Here!" Mikey stepped to the side and I raced through slapping his chest as I went. Gerard had some ginger kid pinned to the ground as Frank punched him. Ginger kid already had a black eye, and welts forming on his arms and neck. I clenched my fist.

"Gerard!" I yelled. "What the hell are you doing?" Sure, I knew what he was doing, but I wanted to hear his lame excuse before ripping him to shreds.

"What does it look like we're doing?" He smirked, looking up at me. "Little jerk got in our way."

"Oh whatever!" I snapped, grabbing Frank by his hair. "Get the hell up Frank!" He yelped as I yanked, throwing him onto the grass. "Little dwarf rat." I spat, not giving him an inch to defend himself. Ginger kid was bug eyed at me, still constrained on the ground by a confused and bewildered Gerard. 

"Don't get involved in this Dollface," Gerard rolled his eyes, snapping back into his alpha male persona. "This isn't your fight."

"Too late." I yelled. "Speaking of late, you were supposed to meet me by the flag pole fifteen minutes ago! And I waited, and waited, all the while wondering 'Where is he? He better be doing something important!' And here you are, beating on some defenseless kid!" I pointed the knife at him. "Leave him be Gerard, and they'll be no more damage."

"She'll do it Gerard!" Mikey cried from behind me. "She's crazy, just get up!"

"Listen to him, Gerard." I said. "There's no need to prolong all this." 

"Ugh." Gerard stood up and walked past me, purposely bumping my shoulder as he passed. "Dumb broad."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that." I snapped, bending down to Ginger kid. "Hey what's your name, friend?"

The kid wheezed and coughed a few times, then answered. "Patrick."

"Alright Patrick, you get outta here, 'kay?" I pulled him onto his feet and dusted him off. "Go. Just get."

"Yes..okay." Patrick squeaked, sprinting off as fast as he could. Damn, that kid can cover ground. Well, anyway...

"What the hell was that?" I whipped around, getting in Gerard's face. 

"He disrespected us Y/n." Gerard leered down at me. "You should know that you don't mess with guys like us."

"You'd do well to remember what they do to 'guys like you' in prison." I sneered, pressing one finger into his chest. "And as for disrespect," I scoffed. "That kid couldn't have done more than step on your toe on accident. So don't give me that 'disrespect' bullshit. You know what's disrespectful? Beating up someone smaller than you. You know what else is disrespectful? Keeping me waiting, only to have to waste my time breaking up your punch-fest. That's disrespectful."

"Sorry Y/n, I-"

"Save it. Just buy me pizza or something, this has been a long day."

"Okay dollface, lets roll." We all turned and walked back to the parking lot. Gerard tried to put his arm around my shoulder, but I pulled away and glowered at him. 

"Don't try, bastard boy." 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The pizza was good. The best pizza I've ever had. "You guys are too confrontational." I said suddenly. 

"What?" Gerard asked, leaning back. 

"You're too confrontational. Too aggressive." I said, nodding my head slightly. "Nobody at that school respects you. They're just afraid you'll beat the shit out of them." I looked in Gerard's eyes. "Those are two different things." 

Gerard looked down at his plate, biting his lip in embarrassment. "Yeah, I never thought about that."

"You'd do better thinking more often." I sighed. "You really would."

After he took everyone else home, including dropping Mikey at their house, Gerard walked me up to my front door. "Uh...I just want to say thank you." 

"For what?" I said, fishing for my house key.

"For giving me something to think about." He scratched the back of his neck and rubbed his shoe on the concrete. "Nobody ever bothers to challenge me, I think you'll be good to uh-have around, y'know?"

"Oh," I smiled. "I know. Thanks for listening, Gerard." 

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He smiled hopefully, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. "If you're not mad at me?"

"Oh I'm still mad," I laughed. "But I have faith in you Gerard. So yes, I'll see you tomorrow." 

"Oh, alright." He smiled one more time. "Bye Y/n." 

"Bye, Gerard." He turned and walked back down the path to his car, parked on the side of the road. I shoved the key in the door and twisted the knob. "Hey Y/n?" He shouted, making me jump.

"Yeah?" I turned around.

"How often do you move?" He asked.

"Not often, this is the first time I've moved towns my whole life."

"Oh good. I'll see you tomorrow!" He grinned and hopped in his vehicle. I waved goodbye and walked into my house. 

"What a day." I mumbled, throwing myself onto the bed. I closed my eyes and began to drift off. "Goodnight house."


	3. Don't Steal Your Parent's Jagermeister, Kids

RAY'S POV

Gerard Way is a hoodlum. A no-good, dirty, lice-infested punk and he'd never have it any other way. I don't even think I've ever known him any other way. 

The first day I met Gerard I was nine years old, and had just moved in to our neighborhood. The average nervousness overtook me, being in a new school, new neighborhood, and a new part of town. I had been avoiding talking to any of the other kids for a few weeks, but I did watch them from my window as they rode bikes and played games in their yards. A boy with dark brown hair in a shaggy haircut always waved at me when I watched from my living room, and I would smile and wave back. He always seemed like a lot of fun; lots of friends to play with, which was a far cry from my action figures. 

One morning, there was a furious knocking on our front door. I went to open it, and there stood the boy, hair all in his eyes and shoes untied. "Hi! I'm Gerard!" He grinned at me, showing off a few missing teeth. "Wanna come play with us? It's basketball, do you like that?" 

I nodded, body still mostly concealed by the door. "I have to ask my mom first."

"Okay." He smiled. I closed the door and sprinted upstairs to ask my mom. Once she complied I sprinted back down and ripped open the door. "Well?" Gerard asked.

"She said okay." I stated, and ran out the door with Gerard. Once we were at the end of my driveway, I felt it necessary to introduce myself. "I'm Ray, by the way." 

"Oh that's a cool name! Like a ray gun!" Gerard led me across the street to his house, where a group of boys our age were playing keep-away from a much smaller boy. "Hey!" Gerard yelled, stomping up to them and shoving one roughly aside. "Didn't anybody ever tell you not to pick on people littler than you! That's not nice!" The other boys backed away, and the basketball rolled into the grass. 

The boy who was shoved shoved Gerard right back. "He's just your dumb brother, what do you care? I bet you do the same while we're not looking, anyway!"

"No I don't, and he's not dumb!" Gerard pushed the kid again, this time looking to start a fight. "You're the dumb one Pete! You can't even do adding and subtracting, you're so stupid!" Pete ran at Gerard, knocking him to the ground and sending them both tumbling onto the grass. Before Pete could get up, Gerard kicked him in between the legs, rendering Pete keeling on the ground. "If you wanna play with us, don't ever say another mean thing about my brother again!"

"Okay!" Pete croaked, slowly rising to his knees. His head was hung low, and he hobbled down the street, then gained his strength and ran. 

Gerard turned to the others, who stood silently staring at the sight of their friends fighting. "What are you all looking at? Get outta here!" He waved his arms and the boys took off on foot and bicycle, clearing out before they could become Gerard's next victim. Once they had all left, Gerard knelt down to his brother and helped him up. "They didn't hurt you did they?"

"They pushed me down," The younger answered. "But I'm alright."

"They're just dickheads, don't listen to them." I widened my eyes and made a sharp intake. This boy had just sworn right out in the open! Gerard heard me and turned around. "You're not gonna tell anyone I said that, right?" 

"Uh, no." I answered. 

"Good." He pointed to the little boy. "This is my brother, Mikey. Say hi, Mikey." 

Mikey grinned and waved at me. "Hi, I'm only two years younger than Gee, I'm seven!"

"Cool." I said, nodding.

Gerard and I hung out every day that summer, and then spent every recess together at school. Mikey liked to tag along, but Gerard never seemed to mind. In fact, he was always viciously protective of him. I often wonder when he lost this unwavering commitment to his brother, and why. Did he abandon morality, or did morality abandon him first? When we were fourteen, Gerard approached me about starting this 'gang.' I didn't care for it much, but he wanted someone tall and I had nothing better to do, so thus I became a founding member of the Killjoys. 

I recounted these memories as I stood on Gerard's front porch on Saturday. It was eight-thirty in the morning, exactly when he had asked me to be at his house. Mrs. Way welcomed me in and let me know that Gerard was still asleep, but I was welcome to wake him up, and would I like something to eat? I thanked her for the strip of bacon and headed down to Gerard's bedroom.

The Nightmare Prince was half-fallen out of his bed, Star Wars pajama pants twisted and bunched up on his legs. "Gerard!" I barked, hitting the wall. He jolted awake and finished falling out of bed, now tangled in sheets. 

"What?!" He yelled, scrambling to free himself. 

"We're supposed to hang today." I said, leaning against the door frame. "You told me to meet you here at 8:30. It's now eight-forty-five, and you're still in your pajamas."

"Well sorry man." He grumbled, now yanking off his pants. "I guess I forgot or something. Hey, hand me those pants." I tossed him the black skinny jeans he pointed at and crossed my arms. 

"Your mom made pancakes, they're really good. Mikey's already out eating, I think, so if we hurry we can still have food." I tapped my foot in an effort to get him to speed up. He nodded and hastily dressed himself, then walked past me to the kitchen. 

"Thank's mom!" Gerard called as we entered the kitchen. He opened two ziploc bags and handed one to me. "Just take what you want, we gotta leave soon." 

Mikey was already waiting in the backseat of the van when we arrived. "So what are we doing today?" He asked. 

"We gotta go get Frank, then we're gonna go get Y/n." Gerard pulled onto the road quickly. I guess I understood his interest in Y/n. She was somewhat like him, from what I could tell: charismatic and charming to a seemingly sociopathic scale, strong-willed, and an aesthetically edgy presence. What I wondered was what Y/n saw in Gerard. She clearly knew the influence she had over him, and over everyone around her. She didn't need Gerard, she could've made her way by herself. Of course, having Gerard around does help out from time to time. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"I'll do it Gerard! I mean it!" Frank was currently at the top of the abandoned church building, arms outstretched and threatening to jump.

"C'mon Frankie, don't be a baby! Come down!" Gerard was standing a few feet away on the ground, trying to coax Frank down. "You're gonna ruin the whole day!"

"I don't give a shit!" He screamed. "I hate you and your stupid hair too!"

There was a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to see Y/n, out of breath. "What the hell is going on?" She asked. 

"Frank's threatening suicide." I said, shoving my hands in my pockets. "He stole his parent's jagermeister and now we're here." 

"Ah, tight." She said, folding her arms. "What got him so upset though?"

"Not really sure, I think it was-"

"Y/n! Look how high up I am!" Frank yelled from his perch.

"That's very cool Frank!" Y/n called back. "Tell me, what got you up there?"

"Uh..." Frank looked around, confused and unsure. "I uh...don't really remember anymore."

"Well, can you come down before you hurt yourself?" She smiled up at him. "Please Frank?"

"Um...okay." Frank nodded. "Gimme a minute." Frank eventually found his way down to the ground and ran over to hug Y/n. "Did you see me? That was so cool!"

"Yeah, it was cool, but maybe next time, lets not climb up to places that are gonna hurt us, okay?"

"Okay." Frank pulled Gerard up next to all of us and hugged him tightly. "He's my best friend, did you know that? My very bestest buddy, and I want you to know:" He pointed his words at Y/n, yet still slurred them. "That if you hurt him, I don't care that you're a girl, I will still cut the brakes on your car."

"Um, alright. Good to know Frankie." Y/n laughed and tousled his hair, earning a drunken giggle from Frank.

"Awesome!" Frank released Gerard and clapped his hands. "Now that we're all on the same page, kiss!"

Awesome.


	4. You Don't Know Anything

GERARD'S POV

"Now kiss!" Frank said, clapping his hands together and yanking Y/n over to me. Y/n jumped quite a ways back and looked at me with big wide eyes and gave me a concerned look. 

"Frankie, maybe not, okay?" She said, patting his head.

"What?!" Frank exclaimed, gaping his mouth in shock. "Why not?!"

"Yeah, why not?" I said, smirking as I stepped forward, hands outstretched as if I was showing myself off.

"I don't wanna get lice in my teeth." She sassed, folding her arms in front of her. By this time, Ray was standing to the side, sighing in disapproval, and Mikey has found his way over to us, curious as to what's going on.

"What?" Mikey asked. "Lice?"

"Your darling brother is trying to get me to kiss him." Y/n told Mikey. 

"Oh, ew." He frowned. "Yeah, he'd probably give you mono or something."

"Wow, way to help a brother out, Mikey." I said, slightly irritated. "C'mon Y/n, you know you want to..."

"Alright, fine." She rolled her eyes.

Y/n walked slowly toward me, and I reciprocated, us heading as though we were in a gunfight. She flashed her palms to me, but still kept them by her side, eyes set on eachother with no deviation. After the year-long-second passed and we were finally face to face, she opened her jacket to me and nodded. Her tactics were puzzling, why she was being so slow was beyond me. Y/n gave one final swipe of her hair and yanked me by the collar of my leather jacket so our lips were smashed together.

She dipped me back like she was kissing a girl, holding my back and shoulders as if I were some delicate flower. I was startled, being pushed down so unexpectedly made me freeze and then hold on to Y/n even tighter, which I'm sure didn't make me look very cool. She brought me back up and released me, pushing my shoulder and laughing like the fuck-boy she was turning out to be. 

"What's wrong, sugar?" She smirked, pinching my cheek as I turned bright red. "Too much for you?"

Frank and Mikey were dying of laughter only a few feet away from us, falling on the ground. I had never felt so emasculated in all my life, and I smelt embarrassment in my nostrils, now flaring as I balled up my fists. "Why the hell'd you do that?" I yelled.

"I thought you wanted me to kiss you!" She feigned shock.

"Not like that!" I shouted back.

"Lighten up, man!" Frank said, clapping Gerard on the shoulder. "It was funny as hell." 

"It'll be even funnier when you're all walking home and I'm the one driving." I sneered, swatting him off.

"Yeah?" Y/n cut in. "You can't drive a car with no keys!" She was dangling my van keys, which she no doubt swiped from me while I was in my extremely vulnerable position moments prior. "Come and get 'em babydoll!" 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Coming mom!" I ran up the stairs to where my mom had called me. There was a pot of hot soup on the stove and a bag of soup crackers next to it. 

"Honey, your father and I are going out." Mom had her nice dress on and her hair done up. "Make sure that Mikey remembers to eat, okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh, and you and Mikey can invite some people over, but no parties, got it?" She said, checking her purse. 

"Got it."

"Love you honey." She kissed my forehead and smiled motherly at me. "You boys are blessings, I swear."

I had no idea what that meant, but reciprocated with an 'I love you too, mom' and followed her out the door. Dad was standing by the car, receiving my mother with a kiss as if they were still merely dating. "Be good!" My father feigned sternness and smiled while helping mom into the car. They drove away, and I watched until the car left my vision.

"Mikey!" I yelled. There were a few loud crashing noises from the basement, then wooden creaks from the staircase. 

"Yeah?" Mikey said quietly, fixing his glasses. 

"Mom said we can invite some people over, so Frank and Ray are coming. Anyone you want?"

Mikey gasped excitedly, then straightened his posture. "Can we invite Y/n over?"

"What?" I honestly didn't want to see Y/n anymore that day, especially accounting for the little trick she had pulled. "Why though?"

"'Cause she's really cool," Mikey began, looking down at his feet. "And she's funny and stuff."

"Ugh, fine." I think secretly I wanted her to come over too.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Okay, so Mikey is running, at top speed, in nothing but his underwear and these hideous Dora the Explorer snowboots. He gets to the end of the street, and there's this car parked with someone in it." Frank had Y/n enthralled in one of his stories, and Mikey was red-faced on the sofa. "You know who's in it?"

"No, who?" Y/n shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth and leaned forward.

"My mother." Frank said with a giant grin. "And she leaned out the window, and, hey Mikey, what'd she say?" He turned to the thoroughly embarrassed boy with a teasing wink.

"Nothing." He grumbled, smashing a pillow over his face and turning away from us.

"Oh really?" Frank rubbed it in. "I'm pretty sure she said something like: 'Michael, what on God's green Earth are you doing out like that? I'm calling your mother!' And she did. She called their mom and she came marching down the block and dragged him all the way back to the house by his ear!"

"Jesus Christ." Y/n leaned back, disbelief in her eyes. "That's something."

I was getting antsy sitting in the living room silently. As annoyed with Y/n as I was, there was still an urge to speak to her, to have her look at me, give me attention. I wanted her lovely eyes fixated on me the way I was fixated on her. The way she was fixated on Frank's dumb story. 

Restlessness was crawling up my body like a vine, tightening around my limbs and throat. I thought I would burst, with how angry I was. Why was this dumb girl taking over my life? Sure, she was cool at first, but then she decides to march on in and start giving me orders? Telling me how to run my gang? Who does she think she is, and why did I want to know so badly? Why did I want to listen to her? Why did everyone else want to listen so badly too? Why, why, why?

"Hey Gerard?" Y/n's charming voice yanked me from my inner monologue and granted me the attention I yearned for. 

"Yeah?" I struggled to act cool, to show I didn't need her approval at every second. 

"You okay?" She asked with a little concerned smile. "You seem kinda pensive, friend." 

Fuck, why did she have to care so much? "It's nothing, just spacin' out I guess." I adjusted myself and returned to my irritation.

"Alright then." Y/n shrugged and leaned against the wall where she was sitting. "Do you guys remember that Patrick kid?"

"Who?" I asked.

"The kid you were beating the shit out of last week." She answered, scratching her head. "Or don't you remember?"

"Oh the ginger-ey kid? Yeah I remember." I was suddenly piqued to her conversation. "What about him?"

"I think you guys should consider asking him to join the Killjoys." She said, smiling sweetly to me.

"What?!" I sat up straight, shocked. "Why would we invite that loser to join us?"

"Because he's fast. Have you seen that kid run? He covered the whole parking lot in like a minute." She yawned and scratched her head again. "I think he'd be very useful to have around. Plus, it would be great for your image."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes, but was surprised to see Frank giving me a mean look. "I'll think about it." I corrected myself, shooting Frank a look back.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Hey, where's Y/n?" Mikey asked, walking into the basement. 

"Who cares?" I answered. "What, are you in love with her or something?"

"No!" Mikey threw a pillow at me. "Just wanted to talk to her or something, jeez."

"Well, I hope she left."

"She's so nice." Mikey stated, ignoring me. "And fun, she's really fun. Plus, she has a cool car, and it's-"

"Would you shut up, Mikey?" I said, throwing the pillow back at him. "Why aren't you upstairs with Ray and Frank, anyway?"

"I came down because I was looking for Y/n." Mikey caught the pillow and chucked it onto the couch next to me. "What are you doing down here?"

"I needed a break." I grumbled. "Y/n thinks she's so smart, and she can just waltz into my life and change everything! She doesn't know anything, she's just a...a.."

"Mikey!" Y/n stepped into the light from the bottom of the staircase, smiling with something in her hands. "Can you go out to my car and get my backpack? There are a bunch of snacks in there; you can share em' with the guys upstairs."

"Sure!" Mikey agreed enthusiastically. 

"Awesome!" Y/n tossed him the item, now recognizable as her car keys, and he dashed up the stairs. She smiled after him. After hearing the basement door close, Y/n turned around to me and frowned. "I heard what you said. What is that you said I was?"

"Nothing." I spoke quickly; a little too quickly to be believable. 

"No, I want to know, Gerard." She took a step toward me and folded her arms. "What am I? A whore? A cunt? I've heard them all, you won't hurt my feelings. Not with that, anyway."

"No, I'm not going to tell you." I said, turning away.

"Don't be a pussy, Gerard!" She yelled. "You were so willing to say things about me to Mikey, why can't you say them to my face? Huh? No balls, pussy!" She laughed at me with such pointed fury I could still tell you where each lark stabbed me.

"Fine!" I shouted back. "You really want me to say it?" I took several steps to her, posturing so I loomed over. She was unfazed by me, and gave me dead eyes with one cocked eyebrow to prove it. "You're a bossy, ladder-climbing, bitch."

"Why?" She narrowed her eyes and smirked. "Because I'm trying to improve your gang? Because I wanted to be friends with you guys? Heaven forbid I give you light suggestions; I don't know what I'm talking about!" Y/n stepped back and laughed more, this time to herself. "After all, I only ran the most successful gang in my state for five years, but that doesn't mean shit! I'm just a dumb bitch!" She clenched her fist and flicked her head up to meet my eyes, and for the first time, I saw real rage elucidated in her face. "Let me tell you something. I'm not some violet-orbed, silver-haired girl with a fringe and a Green Day tee-shirt, who's gonna swoon because you have a leather jacket and a pension for punching people. This ain't some 'Good Girl x Bad Boy' fairytale, this is us, biding time. If you want to waste it all being mad at me for making the most of it, go ahead, but I won't be apart of it." 

I didn't know what to say. I always had something to say. Speechless is the word, I believe. 

"I'll see you later, Gerard." Y/n stepped back into the darkness of the staircase and clomped up each creaky step, until the door closed quietly behind her.

Secretly, I followed her up, and watched from the doorway as she said goodbye to the guys. She bent down next to Mikey and whispered something to him, then pulled a candy bar from her inside pocket and handed it to him, a big grin on both their faces. Kissing his temple, Y/n ruffled his already messy hair and hugged him tightly. "Take care of yourself, Kiddo. Until I come back."

"When are you coming back?" He asked, mouth agape and rubbing his nose like a little kid. 

"I don't know yet, Mikey Way." She smiled only a little. "I think it'll be soon, though."

"Alright." He grinned. "See you."

"See you."


	5. Fuck Up

MIKEY'S POV

"Hey man, why did Y/n leave?" Frank asked, setting the Xbox controller down. "I thought we were all having fun?"

"I don't know." Gerard shrugged, throwing himself on the couch. What a liar. I thought. He knows. I don't know exactly what he knows, but he knows. 

"You sure?" Frank tried to pry. "She left kinda suddenly, and she didn't even say anything about why."

"Yeah, no idea." Gerard lied again. "Maybe she was just tired."

"Well what were you guys talking about down in the basement?" I asked Gerard, crossing my arms.

"Wait, what?" Frank asked. "You guys were talking in the basement?"

"What? No!" Gerard shook his head in defense. We all looked at him until he threw his hands up. "Okay, yeah, we were talking, but it wasn't anything serious, she was just looking for her bag or whatever. We talked for like five seconds, that's it."

"That's it?" Frank and I said in unison.

"That's it." Gerard repeated. 

"Whatever." We answered together again. 

Y/n didn't sit with us at lunch on Monday, and I think it really bothered Gerard, who stared at her as she walked past us, not even acknowledging our presence. It sure as hell bothered Frank, who turned away from her, huffing and puffing, all red in the face with offense. Ray just sat there, eyebrows raised, staring at his sandwich. Nobody said anything out loud, it was extremely likely that Gerard or Frank was going to blow up. 

I was worried that Y/n wouldn't talk to me in gym anymore, and I would be left alone again, but to my surprise, she jogged right up next to me and struck up a conversation. "How are you doing today Mikey Way?"

"Um...pretty okay." I said. "How come you didn't sit with us today?"

"Oh, well I just didn't feel like it today." She answered, now jogging backwards. "I made some other friends, and wanted to sit with them."

"Wow, you already have more friends?" I was a little jealous. "I've been going here two years and I barely have any friends outside of the gang."

"Well, you should make some!" Y/n laughed, a cheery smile glowing on her face. "You have me, and you're always welcome to hang out with me, you know!"

"Really?"

"Yes, of course!" She nodded and laughed again. "And you can always text me if you wanna talk, I'm pretty much available all hours of the day."

"Thanks Y/n. You sure you're not mad at us or anything, right?"

"Not mad at you at least." Gerard.

"Are you mad at Gee?" I asked, staring at my running feet.

Y/n sighed loudly and looked out at the road. "...yeah..."

"What did he do?"

"It's not important." Y/n deflected. "He was just an asshole, and I don't really want to be around him right now."

"Are you gonna wanna be around him ever?" I hoped she would say yes.

"Probably." Yes! "I'm just gonna see if he pulls his head out of his ass and apologizes, or if I have to beat an apology out of him."

"Okay...you'll probably have to beat him up though." I cautioned. "He doesn't like to admit he's wrong. Like, ever."

"Yeah, so I noticed." She scoffed. "Just, don't tell anyone that I'm upset, okay? I don't need people pitying me or getting involved, or god forbid finding out I have emotions." 

"Of course, my lips are sealed!" I made a little zipping pantomime and she laughed.

"Thanks." She smiled back and ruffled my hair. "You're the best, Mikey Way."

Gerard was pissed, so the likelihood he was going to stick around long enough to give me a ride were slim to none. As I made my walk out of the school building, I had a peculiar feeling, like I was being watched. My feeling was correct, because before I knew it I was knocked on the ground, and then unconscious.

I awoke to a familiar smell of dirty clothes and basement must. There was a blindfold around my face, and I was bound to a chair. "What the fuck?" I whispered groggily to myself.

Some hands undid the blindfold, but the room I was in was pitch black, so it's not like my vision was improved much anyway. The room was so familiar to me, but I couldn't put a finger on it. Was it my house? No, it wasn't quite right. Was it Frank's house? No, why would someone kidnap me and bring me to my friend's house? Still...

In the middle of my deduction, it occurred to me that I had been kidnapped. Someone had taken me and strapped me to a chair, and put me in their dark basement. What if they murdered me? What if I died in this basement? What if they wanted to take embarrassing pictures of me and then blackmail me for the rest of my life? If I died in there...I was going to die a virgin. Nothing was scarier than that. I began to legitimately panic at the thought. 

Before a tear could slip from my eye, however, a single lamp turned on with a metallic scrape of a beaded hanging drawstring. There was now light, albeit minimal, but I couldn't see anyone, just the edges of shadows. I came to hear whispering, and saw the shadows moving argumentatively, like they were deciding what to do with me. The whispering stopped quite soon after it began, replaced by footsteps drawing nearer to my hostage post. "Alright Mikey, time to talk." The voice was wildly familiar...wait...no...

"FRANK?!?" I yelled, struggling in the binds. "What the fuck? Let me out!"

Frank sighed, irritated, as though he didn't expect me to be angry that he had abducted me. "No. I'm not letting you out yet." 

"Why the hell not?" I was infuriated; why the hell would he do this? If he wanted to ask me something, he could have just asked!

"Because we have stuff to ask you. Now sit still." 

"Alright, what?" I snapped, stilling reluctantly, enraged at my friend. 

"I know you still talk to Y/n, Michael. We see you through the window when you and her are in Gym class. Right, Ray?" Frank spoke as if he were a congressman questioning a lobbyist. 

"Yep." Ray's voice came from a few feet behind me.

"So, that means you must have some idea of why she's not speaking with the rest of us anymore." He said, leaning against the wall, arms folded. The fervor of accusation was flickering playfully in his eyes, though his mouth stayed frowning. "Well?! Say something!"

"She didn't tell me anything!" I exclaimed. Y/n told me not to tell a word, and by god I wouldn't...hopefully.

"Bullshit!" Frank shouted. "I know you know something. You came out of the basement right before Y/n did! What happened?!"

"I. Don't. Know." I growled, thoroughly annoyed. 

"Alright Ray, get the cage!" Frank called, walking away.

"Wait, what? What cage?" No response. "What the fuck are you doing Frank?"

"Do you like snakes, Michael?" Frank asked, re-emerging into the room. Ray followed him, carrying a moderately sized metal cage, with a purple cloth slung over it. "I think you'll like this one."

"Huh?! No, I do not like snakes! Is there a snake in there?" I began to struggle against the restraints of my chair, and making quite a racket in the process. "Frank, get that thing away from me!" The chair squeaked and squealed against the old wooden floors, making me cringe, but not cease my struggle. 

"Now, don't make too much noise, you might piss it off." Frank taunted, lifting up the cloth enough so only he   
could peek inside. "Are you ready to talk yet, Michael?"

"N-no...no!" I stuttered. "I'm not going to speak! Threaten me all you want, it's not happening!"

"Well, maybe getting to meet him, would change your mind." Frank whipped off the fabric, revealing an angry-looking snake.

"No, Frank!" I yelled. "Stop it!"

"Then TALK!" He shouted, pulling the snake out. He brought it close to my face, and I winced as its forked tongue licked my nose. "C'mon, Mikey...just tell us what she said, and this'll all be over."

"Fine!" I squeaked, trying not to startle the snake. "I'll tell you, just please put the snake away!"

"That's my boy." Frank cooed, placing the snake back in its cage. He turned back around, arms crossed. "Speak."

"Okay, so I don't know exactly what it was, but when we were hanging out last week, I was in the basement with Gerard, and he was complaining about Y/n a ton, saying she was bossing him around and stuff. Then, Y/n came downstairs and told me to get something out of her car so I did, but she stayed downstairs." I picked at the wood of the chair my arm was still duck taped to. "But I was talking to Y/n on the track and she said Gerard said something that wasn't super nice, and that she's not going to talk to him until he apologizes or something."

Frank huffed and rubbed his face. "Well, what'd he say?"

"I dunno, she just said it was bad." I semi-shrugged, as my body was still restrained to a fucking chair. "Can you let me out now?"

"Yeah, fine." Frank answered. "Ray, where'd my pocketknife go?"

Every day, Y/n strutted past us without a second glance, and everyday, Gerard fumed even more. Each passing day made him more volatile, like he could erupt at the slightest touch, so naturally, we all steered clear of pissing him off. 

It all came to a head on Friday; we all sat at the table, the whole gang, noisy and rambunctious as some fifteen teenagers often are. "Where's Frank?" Gerard asked, scanning the cafeteria for his friend. "I thought we left math with him..."

"No," Ray corrected. "He stayed behind for something."

"Oh... wonder what?" Gerard pondered, still watching for signs of Frank. 

"I dunno, maybe to talk to Y/n." Ray threw her name into the air, and I watched to see how Gee was going to react. "She hasn't said anything to any of us all week, he's probably gonna grill her and make her talk."

"Here he comes now..." I spotted Frank walking toward us with- oh no. "He has Y/n."

Gerard pulled out his phone and checked his hair and eyebrows, straightening himself out, then slipping his sunglasses on and turning his attention to talking to Ray, as if he wasn't trying to look casual for the girl approaching our table. Speaking of Y/n, her and Frank were talking, laughing, like old pals. Their arms were linked together and they were leaning into eachother as they laughed. I glanced over to Gerard, and saw his eyes flash with jealousy for only a second before snapping them away.

"Hey guys," Frank stood before the table, Y/n right next to him. "Sorry I'm late, I just got to talkin' to Y/n, and I thought maybe she should sit with us today." 

"I dunno, Frankie..." Gerard said, head on his hand. "I think if she really wanted to sit with us, she would have done it sooner." He smiled passive-agressively at Y/n, eyes crinkled and everything. 

Y/n smiled back the exact same smile, then laughed down at her feet. "Well, you know I didn't really want to come sit with you, Gerard. I mean, would you sit with someone who called you mean names and shit talked you behind your back?"

"No," Gerard sighed, planting his tongue in his cheek. "I wouldn't."

"Wait, names?" Frank interjected, face riddled with confusion. "Were you shit-talking her?"

"So what would you do if somebody verbally disrespected you like that Gerard?" Y/n crossed her arms and popped a hip out. "Huh? What would you do? Get angry? Get you and your friends to go beat their face in?"

Gerard folded his hands and looked down, face starting to heat up. A few killjoys were now watching them, stunned silence at their leader's absence of a comeback. "...yeah, probably."

"Yeah. Probably." Y/n repeated blankly. She stepped forward, uncrossing her arms and placing them on the table, leaning down to Gerard's level. "So tell me why I shouldn't drag you out of here by your stupid hair and kick your ass all over the street?"

Gerard swallowed, then smirked. "I'd like to see you try."

Y/n narrowed her eyes at him, as if mulling the proposition over. The rest of us waited in suspense for the fight of the year to break out. Finally, she said one word. "No."

"No?" Gerard raised his eyebrows. "Chicken?"

"No, I'm different than you Gerard." She responded, straightening up. "I'm not here to go and beat the shit out of everyone who makes me upset. You should know by now that's not what I'm about. I just want you to realize what a shitty thing you did."

"Wait, what did he do?" Frank gasped, still confused and upset.

"I don't think it was that shitty." Gerard shrugged. 

"Oh no?"

"Nope."

"Well then, Frankie, would you like to know what your friend Gerard called me on Saturday?" Y/n asked, eyes still glaring at my brother.

"Yes! Please!" Frank exclaimed.

"A bossy, ladder-climbing bitch!" Y/n said with glee, clapping her hands together with a smile. "Isn't that lovely Frankie?

"Wait, what?" Frank asked, brows raised. "Is that true, Gee?"

Gerard just scratched the back of his neck and stayed silent. Y/n watched with her fiery eyes and then laughed to herself. "Personally, I think that's pretty shitty. So, if you decide to pull your head out of your ass and apologize, I'll be waiting."

Y/n turned on her heel and stalked out of the cafeteria, all eyes watching. Frank still stood, stunned at the whole situation. "What the fuck?" He turned to Gerard, whose face was a delightful shade of red. "Did you seriously call her a bitch? She's like, the best shot we have at being seriously respected here, why the fuck would you say that?"

"I-" Gerard started.

"Dude, I don't wanna listen to you right now. I'll see ya tomorrow." Frank rubbed his eyes and walked out of the cafeteria as well.

Ray was shaking his head, looking even more disappointed than usual. "You really fucked up on this one, man."

"What should I do?" Gerard asked, tucking his hair behind his ears. 

"I dunno, fucking apologize, maybe?" Ray responded, crawling with impatience. "I would consider trying to get my act together, as well." Gerard nodded, but didn't move. "C'mon, Mikey, let's go." We both stood up, grabbing our bags.

"Mikey?" I looked down and saw Gerard, holding a look of desperation and embarrassment.

"Sorry, man." I whispered, looking down. "I, I gotta go."

Gerard nodded like he was trying not to cry, though there weren't any tears yet. "Bye Mikes."

"Bye Gee."


	6. An All-American Teenage Fantasy

Every step I took as I stormed out of the cafeteria held so much rage it's a shock that there wasn't a trail of flames behind me. Students parted ways for me, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of my fury. What a pompous dickhead, that Gerard. Lord, I could have decked him right then and there, or threw his applesauce at him, or, I don't know, done something bad! 

I didn't know why he made me so frustrated. I'd dealt with plenty of difficult people before, and they'd never gotten me so riled up like him. It's not like getting called a bitch was some novel prospect to me or anything, it just all of a sudden hurt that it was coming from him. I hated him, and I hated his stupid hair too. 

I pushed straight through the back doors of the school and let them slam behind me, hugging myself as my chest began to tighten. Oh no, not crying, we're not doing this today. I walked even faster, finding a small corner that was well shaded before sitting down. Checking to make sure there was nobody else around, I pressed myself against the rough brick wall and breathed in a sob, one after the other before the tears came rolling down my skin. A single anguished cry forced its way from my throat, and I tucked my face in my arms for comfort, closing away all the light from my sensitive eyes. 

I cried for a few minutes, somehow unable to stop myself. The floodgates were open, and there was no way to shut them. Letting my body shake and tremble while I ran salty streaks down my makeup. 

"Hey..." Gerard was crouched next to me, tilting his head to try and see me better. 

"Go away." I sobbed, mostly muffled by my clothes and hands. 

"I...I think I should stay here with you." Gerard said, dropping completely to the ground next to me. I just kept crying into my hands and didn't say a word. "I'm really sorry about what I said to you. Also for what I said behind your back, and I'm sorry for just generally being a dickhead." He paused, waiting for a response. 

I brought my head up and rested it on my knees, looking out at some boys shooting hoops a ways away. "Why?" I rasped.

"Uh..well, like, at first I wanted to impress you, 'cause you were like, really pretty, y'know." Gerard liked to wave his hands around when he spoke, like he was always telling some big grand story. "But then, I realized that you didn't really need some big impression of me, and you were kinda completely fine on your own, and all the guys started giving you tons of attention, and I dunno..."

"You don't know what?" 

"I just...I felt threatened, you know?"

"Threatened? Really?" Somehow this made me feel better about myself.

"Yeah," He shrugged. "I mean, if everyone likes you more, then what do they need me for? I'm just takin' up space."

"You know, I'm not trying to replace you. I'm just trying to help." I tilted my face away from him and shut my eyes, letting the cool air breeze onto my skin.

"Yeah, I get that now." He sighed, tapping his fingers on his legs. "So, do you accept my apology?"

Exhaling, I deliberated in my mind for a moment. He seemed pretty genuine, so I might as well. "Yeah, sure." I shrugged. "You're forgiven."

"Oh, thanks-"

"BUT! I'm still upset and I still don't trust you."

"That's valid." Gerard agreed, nodding and doing that weird smirk thing that white people do when they pass eachother.

"Do you wanna like, I don't know...skip the rest of today and go to the mall or something?" I tossed the idea out, hoping to get some quality bonding to smooth things over.

"Are you asking me out, Y/n?" Gerard gave me a look, sorta biting his tongue and raising his eyebrows all flirtatiously. 

"In your dreams, dipshit." Laughing, I pushed his face away and stood up. "I'm asking you to go to the mall with me. Are you in or are you out?"

"I'm in." He sighed, standing up and following me toward the parking lot. 

"Okay, but you have to buy me something!" I asserted, flipping around momentarily.

"Okay." He threw his hands up, smiling.

"AND! You have to drive!" I added.

"Jesus, seems like I do just about everything around here." Gerard said sarcastically, shoving his hands in his pockets and laughing.

"I mean, it's really the least you could do, Gerard." I said, pushing him teasingly.

"Well," He pushed me back. "As long as it's the very least that I could do."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't push you much further," I said. "Heaven knows you couldn't handle that level of human decency; fuck man, you'd probably implode."

"Hey!' Gerard yelled. "I can be nice!"

"Sure, okay." I nodded. "And I'm a Victoria's Secret model."

"You know, you could be." Gerard winked at me and I quickly responded by shoving him harshly and batting him over the head. 

"You better shut up right now, mister!" I scolded. 

"Sorry, sorry!" He defended, laughing at me. "I'll shut up."

The mall was partially empty, which wasn't surprising given that it was twelve PM on a Friday. There were a few people from school, also skipping class, but mostly moms and their young kids, looking at toys, or housewives shopping for clothes or appliances or whatever things adults need. "Gerard, do me a favour and never let me become like that."

"Like what?" He asked, surveying the scene through sunglasses. 

"I don't know," I said. "Domestic, I guess. Just whatever happens, if I start driving a minivan or I buy a sign that says "It's Wine-o-Clock", I want you to take me out back and shoot me, okay?"

"You? Domestic?" Gerard scoffed. "C'mon Y/n, we know that's never gonna happen. You're gonna be deep in your 70's, still stealing shit and throwing rocks through windows."

"Okay, thanks for the reassurance."

"No problem."

I dragged Gerard around the mall, not even going into any stores, which I justified by saying it was the 'warm-up lap', making him sigh through very tightly closed lips. Finally, I pulled him into the Bath and Body Works store.

"Jesus Christ!" Gerard gagged. "I never knew something could literally smell like everything all at once."

"Yeah, isn't it great?" I smiled, picking up a scented candle. "I don't know a single person who actually uses candles, do you?" 

"My mom does." Gerard said, lifting up his sunglasses to read the label on a bottle of cologne. 

"Really?" I pried, taking a coy step away to test a perfume. "And how come I've never met your mom?"

Gerard furrowed his eyebrows, following me with an air of investigation. "Sorry, do you want to meet my mom?"

"Sure! Why not?" I shrugged, pursing my lips and gently sniffing the paper perfume test strip. "I love meeting parents...you know why?"

"Why?"

"'Cause they love me!" I smiled and booped his nose with my finger.

"Did you just...boop my nose?" Gerard asked, a slight flash of disgust running over his face.

"Maybe..." I smiled, tongue planted in my cheek. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"

He blinked a few times, mouth agape like he was searching for something to say, to do, to retaliate with. Looking down at the bottle of cologne in his hand, he frowned and removed the cap. "This." He pointed the bottle at me and sprayed me right in the face.

"Oh you did not-" I sprayed him back with my own perfume bottle twice over. 

"Hey! You can't get me twice, no fair!" Gerard pouted, spraying me aggressively many more times than I could count. 

"You're gonna regret that, Gerard!" Before I knew it, we were having a perfume battle in the bath and body works.

"HEY!" We both whipped around, eyes wide and guilty faces to see an angry employee standing about seven feet away from us. "You can't do that here."

"Sorry." We said in unison, before high-tailing it out of the store, snorting and giggling. 

"Okay, where to next?" Gerard asked, pullng his sunglasses back down.

"Ooooohhh, can we go into the Hot Topic?" 

"That's exactly what I was hoping you would say."

The Hot Topic was much more Gerard's speed; he walked in like it was his second home, non-chalantly greeting the employees and taking a deep breath of relaxation as he waltzed through the uncomfortably small doorway. Walking through the claustrophobia-inducing aisles, I gazed upon the great wall of Funko figures, spotting a few oddly obscure cartoon characters. 

"So what do you want me to buy you?" Gerard asked as we squeezed past a couple of other shoppers. 

"I'm not sure yet," I said. "Maybe some tights or something, or new earrings."

"Mmm, I can do that." He nodded, pausing to check out the display of belts. "I like this studded one, what do you think?"

"Yeah, it's cool, but I think the square studs are too scene, the speared ones are more fierce." I turned to the other side of the aisle, checking out some fishnets and skirts. "Woah, these have spiders on it, and this one has bats!"

"Are those the ones you want?" Gerard asked, glancing back at me. 

"Mmm, I'm not sure yet." I pulled them off the rack, then turned away, shoving them in my inside pocket. 

"Woah, whatcha doin' there, Y/n?" Gerard spoke quietly, still examining the belts non-chalantly. 

"Bein' an upstanding citizen, what does it look like I'm doing?" I leant on him and grabbed a bag of studs, shoving those in my jacket too. "Let's go pay for your belt, babe."

"Babe? What are you doing?" Gerard looked at me suspiciously. 

"Having fun." I wink at him and bite my tongue. "Just chill."

"You got it."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

GERARD'S POV

"Alright, what's the final kill?" I asked, flopping onto the sofa next to Y/n. 

She let me come over to her house after we were done at the mall. Her dad wasn't home, which was probably for the best. Most dads don't appreciate random boys showing up with their daughters along with bags full of stolen merchandise.

Y/n dumped her backpack out onto the space between us, pulling things out of her pocket and adding them to the heap. There were a lot of accessories; sunglasses, tights, socks, pins, etc, as well as a lot of food. There were two boxes of Pocky and literally so many candy bars we probably could have fed a small village. I had no idea she liked to steal so much. If I had, I probably would have taken her out sooner; I could have gotten a lot more stuff. 

"Oh shit, I never made you buy me anything!" Y/n looked at me wide-eyed, with such concern. She softened her gaze and smirked at me. "You got off easy this time."

"Damn I guess I did." I replied. "But if it means anything to you, I really enjoyed getting to hang out with you today."

Y/n punched me in the shoulder lightly. "Don't go soft on me now, Captain. You still gotta be mean and fearless, don't forget about that."

I don't want to be mean and fearless with you. How do I tell you that? I smiled softly to myself, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. Anything I could do to pretend like I wasn't terrified of my feelings. "Well you know, maybe I'm taking some time off from being Captain." I turned a little further towards her, lacing my fingers together and leaning my head against the couch cushions.

"Yeah?" She asked. "Taking time off to do what?"

"Not sure...maybe do some soul-searching. A little bit of self-actualizing adventure, maybe." 

"Sounds fun." She smirked, trying to open a can of energy drink. "Open this for me?"

"Sure." I took the can from her and cracked the tab easily, taking a sip before handing it back to her.

"Hey! You can't do that!" She gasped and swatted at my head, then set the can on the table, far away from me. "I stole that can, it's mine!"

"Yeah? I'll do it again!" I exclaimed, getting up in her face. "I'm an unhinged man, Y/n! Crazy!!!!"

She laughed and fell back onto the arm of the couch, pulling me down with her. "You know...I kinda like you." She said softly, gazing into my eyes. "I even kinda like your stupid hair." She giggled.

"Why does everyone call my hair stupid?" I laughed. I inched my face closer to hers, and I felt a magnetic force pulling us together. "I...I kinda like you too."

Y/n's eyes slowly closed, and my lips were about to touch hers. They had barely grazed when we heard a car pulling into the driveway. Hastily, she shoved me off and started putting all of our stolen goods back in her backpack. "That's my dad. Fix yourself."

"What, is he an asshole?" I asked, helping her shovel things in her bag. 

"Not exactly." She zipped up the bag, and a tall man walked in through the front door. 

The man stood like a mountain: formidable, and with a cold atmosphere that crept into the room and chilled the energy. He wore a nice shirt and tie, with black slacks and clean, polished shoes. Everything about him was very precise; a perfect crease in his trousers, hair slicked without a fiber loose or out of place, and his suit jacket slung perfectly folded over his arm. Intimidation was just one feeling that was worming through my body.

"Hi dad!" Y/n smiled cheerfully at her father, giving him more enthusiasm than I had ever seen before. 

"Hello, Y/n." He answered, quite unconcerned with the presence of his daughter. "You're back early." 

"Yeah, they let us out early today." Y/n got up and took her father's coat to hang up, then turned the large armchair on the opposite side of the room toward him for him to sit down in. Who was this girl next to me, smiling and being so cordial, so submissive, so domestic? 

"Oh?" Her father grabbed the newspaper off of the coffee table and opened it up as he sat down in the large arm chair. "Well then, how was school today?"

"It was fun! We learned about ethnic conflict, and-"

"That's great, can you go make a pot of coffee?" He dismissed her, not even looking up from his paper. 

"Yes, of course!" Y/n flounced into the kitchen, smiling, though there was something exhaustive in it. Something tired and disappointed was consuming her, making creases under her eyes and making the corners of her mouth droop a little bit.

Meanwhile, I sat in very polite silence on the sofa, trying to look as non-scummy as possible, though I wasn't sure if this man would care if I was a murderer or a priest. The man never, not even once, looked up from the newspaper. The only sound was the crinkle of paper as he turned it every few minutes. Silently, I prayed for Y/n to hurry up with the coffee so we could get the fuck out of there.

After what seemed like 17 years, Y/n emerged with a cup of steaming coffee, and set it down on a coaster by her father. "Here you go, dad."

"Thanks, honey." She smiled and came to sit down next to me. Her father finally looked up from the paper, making intense, puzzled eye contact with me. "Who's this?" He asked, eyeing my ripped pants.

"Oh, this is my friend, Gerard." Y/n said, nervously glancing from her father to me. 

"Mmm..." The man nodded and returned to his paper.

"Well, we're gonna go upstairs and work on school stuff." She hastily grabbed her backpack and beckoned me to come with her. 

When we shut the door to her room, Y/n didn't say anything. She just set the bag on her bed and played with the zipper, tucking her hair behind her ears and pressing her lips together tightly. 

Oh God, she's not gonna cry again, is she? I don't know if I could take that. Taking a few steps toward her, I contemplated what I should do. 

"Um...Y/n?" I ventured, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Are you oka-"

I was cut off by her whirlng around and grabbing my face, then shoving her lips onto mine. The shock wore off after a moment and I kissed back, but she swiftly broke away and looked into my eyes again, rubbing my face with her thumbs. "You want an adventure? Lets go on an adventure. You and me. We can go wherever you want."

"What?" Astonished and shocked once again. "Wh-are...are you sure? Like, we just leave, right now?"

"Yes, right now. We don't have to go far. Maybe just across town." She was speaking to me, but she didn't seem to be conscious of it. Her eyes were a little dazed, and they didn't react to the words her mouth was speaking either. 

"Y/n, I don't really know if you're thinking straight right now."

Her eyes dropped and she let go of my face, letting them rest on my shoulders. "Probably not. I just- I gotta get out of here, Gerard. I'm gonna go crazy if I don't."

"Well, then let's go then." I winked at her and grabbed my backpack from the floor.

Y/n opened her closet door and pulled out a ladder, which she then pushed out her window and latched to the sill. "Ladies first." She said, gesturing to the ladder. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

We spent the next 6 hours on the town, messing around in stores, eating shitty fast food, and even going to see a middle school play. We sat in the back and laughed noisily at every joke, giving them as much encouragement as we could muster, and then stood and cheered the loudest when it was over. 

Toward the end of the night, we drove out to an empty playground and parked. Y/n pulled a large duffle bag from the backseat and walked silently with me out across the grass and toward the river. Along the plentiful, grassy shore she spread a large quilt, which she pulled from the duffle. 

"Sit." She beckoned, not sitting down until I had settled onto the quilt. By now, it was completely dark. Seldom could we see, especially if it were not illuscidated by the moon or perhaps a flickering streetlamp. 

Y/n looked at me with an unmoving, pure intensity. She looked almost blank, thoughtless, though her eyes still read with extreme purpose. She pushed me down, but instead of kissing me like I expected, she just layed down next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. Clandestine silence was climbing and settling over us, and though I loved the physical peace of holding her so quiet, there was no way I could be wholly comfortable that way. 

"Your dad's a real dick." I said quietly.

"Yeah..." Y/n chuffed. "He's so...ungracious."

"There's a fifty cent word." I laughed. "Like you're that gracious."

"I try to be." She whispered. "I forgave you didn't I? I kissed you even."

"Huh, I guess that's true."

"God, I just want him to pay attention to me." She whispered again.

"I'll pay attention to you." I whispered back. "I'll give you all the attention you want."

"Appreciate that, but I don't know if its the same." 

"Lemme know if it helps though, okay?" 

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Updating a story? In what world?


End file.
